It Makes Me Ill (Cuz You Should Be My Girl)
by Diana Prallon
Summary: Gwaine was a big believer in drinking his problems away. And while nobody would call Gwaine a role-model, at this moment, Mordred was more than willing to go through his path.


**It Makes Me Ill ('Cuz You Should Be My Girl)**

Merlin was a big believer in hiding away from his problems and pretending they didn't exist. It was a thing he did. Mordred had tried to follow his big brother's steps, but it wasn't working anymore.

Arthur was a big believer in facing them head on, but Mordred didn't think he would suggest it in this case, because facing Morgana head on was not a thing that one did it they wanted to remain intact.

Gwaine was a big believer in drinking his problems away. And while nobody would call Gwaine a role-model, at this moment, Mordred was more than willing to go through his path.

Because Morgana had arrived at their New Year party with yet another dumb jock in her arm, and he just didn't know how to deal with it anymore. All those people out there, that wrote about characters pining away secretly and made it sound romantic were completely wrong — it wasn't romantic, it was humiliating, painful, and made him feel perpetually anxious.

So, drinking it was. Five tequila shots were more than enough to give him a good buzz. He was even enjoying himself now. His friends were hilariously funny, even more so when they were drunk. Gwen was laughing at everything around her, and Lance was beaming. Merlin had become an octopus around Arthur, who seemed to want nothing more than to drag him to one of the bedrooms (he didn't think his brother would might, indeed, he might be deeply in favour of it); and Gwaine was telling some story that had everybody giggling, until Elena fell from Percy's lap, prompting a new round of laughter.

He couldn't see Morgause anywhere, or Morgana's date — Cendred? Was that his name?

Mithian was preparing some mean drink, Leon helping her in the kitchen, one eye on her and another on his boyfriend's tale. Will punched Gwaine's arm, disputing something about the story, but he couldn't really pay attention to it. Mordred was alone, gladly nursing his cocktail on the balcony when Morgana came to stand next to him.

"Why are you so gloomy?"

"I'm not" he answered, still looking at Gwaine. "I'm just taking some fresh air."

Morgana looked as if she didn't believe him, but she didn't say anything, putting the cigarette in her mouth and lighting it.

It was a disgusting habit, but it fit her, somehow.

She puffed out the smoke after a moment, before speaking again.

"You're awfully quiet tonight."

"I'm just relaxing" well, he had been, at least, until she came over, making his heart go a mile per minute. He shrugged. "Enjoying the evening" and, because his mouth seemed to be working in a way designed to make him suffer, he continued. "Where is Cendred?"

Morgana frowned at that.

"How the hell should I know?" she said.

"He idid/i come with you" reminded Mordred, and hell, he hated himself, didn't he?

"Mordred, Cendred, it's not… like that. I don't need to be watching him every minute."

She was, of course, referring to the previous tosser, Val. Val had used every opportunity to flirt with a different girl, and they were never the one who was supposed to be his girlfriend. Mordred was glad that she had dumped him, even if it had taken her months to do it.

Not that he thought he had hope now - he knew better than that. He was just a kid, and Morgana was, well, Morgana.

"If you say so" was all he could say.

Morgana puffed out in annoyance.

"Mordred, I know how you feel about Val, but Cendred isn't…"

"Shots on me!" Mithian yelled from the inside, cutting of whatever Morgana was about to say.

"Count me in" answered Mordred, starting to step inside. Morgana held his arm.

"Is this a good idea? You've drunk a lot."

"I know you like to think I'm a child, but I'm a big boy" he spat, annoyed.

That was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? She just couldn't see him as anything but a baby. He'd always be the freshman they had adopted in their last year of Uni. Six years had done little to make her see him as anything else, and finding out he was in love with her six months ago? That hadn't helped. At least she didn't know, the last thing he needed was her looking at him as if he was some sort of love sick puppy.

He was not a love sick puppy. Nope. Nooooope. Shut up.

Mordred didn't wax lyrical about her shiny, wavy hair, or spent hours drawing her long legs, or listened all recordings she sent on their group chats just to hear her voice, or knew exactly that brand of shampoo she used.

Not in front of others, anyway.

In the spirit of *not* being a love sick puppy, he walked inside and straight to where Elena was spreading jelly shots on Mithian's uncovered belly. Merlin was giggling while Arthur did the same to him.

"This is not fair, you won't let anyone else drink them" Gwaine whined, and Leon slapped his head.

"I don't think Leon would approve anyway" said Merlin, as Arthur leaned to take the first one into his mouth.

"Just get a room" barked Morgana at them, after Merlin's loud moan.

"Come on, Mordred" Elena coaxed him. "Gwen managed to take five, Percy got eight — how many do you think you can eat in a row?"

"Ten" he said, knowing it was a stupid, stupid idea. Gwaine turned around and clapped his hands.

"This I *must* see!" the man said. "Little Mordred, stepping up his game."

Elena took a few seconds trying to arrange the whole group around the expanse of skin provided.

Mordred was ready to start when he looked at her — the expression she was wearing was thunderous. He wanted nothing more than to go over and make her laugh, or make her relax. No, no. He should do — this — and drink because clearly there was no use in pining.

He got the jellies on a row, barely stopping to swallow. Mithian giggled, and Elena cheered on. Someone pulled him up by his hair, and he felt the room swirling around him. Morgana was back inside, ushering Mithian out of the counter where she was, well, serving the shots.

"My turn" her voice left little room for argument, as she climbed on the courter, turning her face towards him. "Think you can double it, big boy?"

Even knowing she would never see him as anything more than a child, he couldn't stop wanting her approval. He couldn't back down from a challenge, even if it would be pure torture.

"Sure thing" he replied, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

Percy's arms were around his shoulder, keeping him steady, and he was very grateful for it in the following moment as Morgana took out her shirt in a smooth movement. His knees got wobbly as he saw her laying there, Elena once again trying to arrange the jelly, but Morgana's frame was more slender than Mithian's. He tried and failed not to look above, where she had nothing but a lacy bra covering her breasts. He bit his lip, tense, and Percy squeezed his arm in comfort — if it was only because of the drinking or because of Morgana's almost nakedness he didn't know.

"I can't fit all here" Elena complained, as the eighth jelly fell for the third time.

"Give me" Morgana ordered, and Mordred could only look on disbelieving as she placed the three remaining jelly's over and between her breasts.

"Is this wise?" he asked, weakly, but she just rose her eyebrow.

"Are you scared you can't take it?"

Damn the woman, one couldn't say no.

Mordred took a deep breath, and just leaned over her, making a quick work of the row over her hips, forbidding himself to think about what was happening while he captured the jellies on her belly, swallowing dry before eating those in her ribcage, and willing his cock to stand down as he picked up the ones over the boobs and in the valley between her breasts. He had survived.

That is, until he rose his head and noticed he was really, horribly hard in spite of his effort. He didn't dare step away from the counter.

"I *really* didn't need to see this" Arthur complained, shaking his head. "You're in my bad books now, Mordred. Can't help it. It's the rules."

"I didn't do anything!" he squeaked, and Morgana smirked.

"Ooh, but you did — so good" she fake moaned, and Arthur made gagging noises while the rest of them roared with laughter. Mordred felt his cheeks on fire, but she didn't care much, sitting up and slapping his cheeks carefully. "You'll make someone really happy one day."

Someone — but not her, never her, not the one person he had been in love with for years. As Cendred walked in, she called on him to come do jelly shots on her and Mordred felt himself go numb.

Never him.

It made him physically ill, and he rushed to the bathroom just in time not to ruin anything.

As he was left there, vomiting his soul out while hearing on the running commentary on Cendred's prowess with his tongue, Arthur's annoyance the the boys cheers, he decided Gwaine was an idiot.

Drinking away his problems never worked.

(It took him another three weeks and two more hangovers to find out Cendred was *Morgause's * boyfriend)


End file.
